OK, I know this has probably been asked and answered before... but do you tell your friends about depression?  Like sometimes it would just be so much easier to tell my friends 'I really don't feel like talking about your fight with your boyfriend tonight because I'm depressed.'  Like I hate to use it as an excuse, but I just can't deal with unimportant stuff like that with my friends when I'm down.  Anyone feel the same way?

I don't think there is a simple answer to this question. I do think it is crucial to develop a strong support network of people who will be supportive of your diagnosis and needs. I think it needs to be a two way relationship too, you support them and they support your rather than just being your care giver.

 Some people don't understand or will deny what you're going through. Some of them may be open to changing their perspective as they learn about the disorder. Some may refuse to do so.

It's not always easy to gage how people will react to your disclosure, so you'll have to take some risks. I'd be prepared to face some rejection, but I think you need to be willing to do so in order to develop a trusting relationship with some people.

 If you know the people well,  you can often have a reasonable idea about how they'll react to your disclosure. You might want to wait until you've known someone for awhile before disclosing.

 On the positive side, being able to see how people react to your disclosure will really let you know how much of a friend they truly are.

 Another issue is that you don't always have a choice about disclosing. Sometimes our symptoms are so severe, that people can figure it out for themselves.

 I hope this is useful  to you.
 

Hi,

I know how you feel, I also had this problem when I was going through alot of stuff.

How do you reach out to?

And I totally agree, it's the most annoying thing when your friends biggest worry is "I like this guy but her likes her and he likes me but not her when he is with her and blah blah blah", It makes you want to scream doesn't it?

As Paul said there is no yes/no answer to this. Is there a friend you feel closer to, someone you think that would be more understanding.

If it's someone to talk to, then I'm here, as are many others of this growing community. There will always be someone around willing to listen and help you through the darkest times.

Take care x

aunestly i have found that it depends on the person. some people take the news well, others really dont. It depends on how mature the person is, and you really just have to use your judgment from person to person.

Ive found it easiest to have a support group of people i can talk to. Most of them are people who have been through tough times themselves and can relate, or people that just ahve big hearts and can feel what your going through and offer sound advice.'

when im feeling really down and i know i cant handel talking about everyday tings with people who dont know about my depression, i tend to not answer my calls. f they ask why i tell them i was sick, because i was. its an illness hun. i wish you all the luck in the world. its hard. stay strong.

 i say tell everyone you are capable of telling, this allows them a chance to understand where you are coming from...look at the quote at the top of this website. it is so much better to go through this with the help of friends and family.....and if they not willing to help you they are not either. best of luck

 fight the devil

Evan
 

eradmore:

 it is so much better to go through this with the help of friends and family.....and if they not willing to help you they are not either.
 

Truer words have never been said :)

Welcome to the group Evan!

ok, so as far back as I can remember, I've always felt really insecure about myself, and always keep getting down every now and again, but through my late teens and so far thourgh my 20's (im 25 now) its been getting worse, and I feel depressed alot more lately. My brother passed away approximately a year ago now (he took his own life). My brother must have been able to hide his depression very well, because no one ever knew he was depressed. I always felt it should have been me that killed myself first,

Anyways. back on topic here. I've never really been able to tell anyone that I feel this way, although i know I have a very supportive network if I ever want to talk, but i geuss i kind of feel ashamed, Anyways, after my brother's death, imy sister and i moved away again for a month
 , then one night while i was out with her and some friends, i had a little too much red wine, and kind of told my sister everything i was feeling - in turn she called my parents, so my parents flew us home, and my mom took me in to see all these specialists.....however, II dont really like expressing how i feel, especially to people im not comfortable with,, so i was never diagnosed with anything, so after a month i stopped seeing them. However, I find its getting worse now, and I dont want to tel my parents for fear of upsetting/hurting them, and I'm kind of too ashamed to tell anyone rite now,

It can be very difficult to seek help. Everybody needs some sort of help at some time so you're not alone in this. I think your parents would be more upset that you're not receiving help to improve your life than they would be about the depression you're experiencing. If your depression continues to get worse, there will be a point when you won't be able to hide it from them. I don't think a parent can ever get over the suicide of their child. I'd urge you to seek help while you still can whether you decide to tell your family or not.

wow, i feel the same way a lot of the time.  

for me, i already know my friends and family will accept it if i tell them.  the thing that has always prevented me from telling anyone is the thought of them accepting it, but then looking at me in a different perspective.  ya know, "Now that I know he's had this depression for so long, maybe I should be a lot more gentle with him from now on."  maybe not exactly that but something along the lines of that.  im afraid the people i tell will start treating me like a fucking piece of glass or something.  id just want them to treat me like they have been, and at the same time to just be aware of my situation.  so i guess that fear has prevented me from telling anybody about my situation for about 7 months now.  im beginning to learn that was a bad mistake, though i don't know if id have the courage to tell them if given the opportunity to re-live the past 7 months. 

polarpaul:

It can be very difficult to seek help. Everybody needs some sort of help at some time so you're not alone in this. I think your parents would be more upset that you're not receiving help to improve your life than they would be about the depression you're experiencing. If your depression continues to get worse, there will be a point when you won't be able to hide it from them. I don't think a parent can ever get over the suicide of their child. I'd urge you to seek help while you still can whether you decide to tell your family or not.

this was honestly probably some of the best advice i have ever read on this topic.   

I think it's best to tell your friends about it. You don't have to announce it to the entire world, but at least let your close, trusted friends know. Having a personal support group is very important, but they can't be there for you if they don't know what's going on. It's also important because if your symptoms show, and they don't know you have depression, they could misinterpret what's going on. By no means am I suggesting to use your disorder as an excuse, but if your friends can recognize it as a symptom, then there's a greater possibility that they'll try to help you, or at least not get offended by your behavior. For example, one of my strongest symptoms is irritability. If someone knows that, there's a chance they won't take my accidental snapping personally.

Anyway, if you do tell them make sure you do it right. Don't just say your label, explain it. Lots of people have the wrong idea about depression. It's not just feeling sad, there is so much more to it. I "came out" to my friends about my depression, and no one hated me for it. I got some questions, but thankfully I'm a psychology student and I was able to answer them. Just be honest with your friends, I promise it will do more harm than good if your friends are truly good friends.